I guess I am overdue for a post huh…been writing lots in my journal (the old fashion kind with paper) and time has gotten away from me. I have gone through a pretty rough month, I can easily say that this month I have changed more than my entire journey here and I am proud of myself, at the same time there have been some things I wish I could have changed. I want to take a second to recognize what I have learned over my five months living in a different country.
Over this adventure I have learned the importance of relationships with family, the importance of being able to make decisions for yourself and not basing your needs off of someone else, I have learned patience, learned that plans change and you have to go with the flow. I have learned the importance of knowing your priorities, learned to express myself and be blunt when I need to. I have learned to speak my mind and state my needs even if its a little scary, learned not to push people away when there is tension, I have learned how to be alone and to think for myself. I have become more me than I have ever been. I have learned to cry when I need to, but to get over it, pick myself up and keep on hiking, I have learned when I need to take a breathe, slow down and recognize what I have and what I need to be thankful for. I have learned to respect my elders and how important it is to listen and take in what others have to say. I have learned who is real, who is fake and who is just trying to find themselves. I have learned to cook and clean with my actual hands (not the machines…shocking right?) I have learned the importance of listening to my body and what it is telling me, not to push myself when I am already feeling weak. I have learned to smile when I feel unsure because when I do that I usually cheer myself up. I have learned that getting to know someone before throwing yourself into a false relationship is important. I have learned that I am not someone who wants boyfriends all the time or always needs that type of attention. I have learned that I am more feminist than I thought-always being angered when the very old guys whistle, honk or yell crude words at me or my friends. I have learned how important nutrition is to me, learned that nothing matters ore than how you feel and what your instincts are telling you. I have learned how much I love and appreciate my family, how I need to make up for my past few grumpy, moody and sometimes unappreciative teenage years. I have learned how to explain myself thoroughly, 100% and without being flaky with my words or explanations. I have learned how to follow through with what I started, I have learned that it is better to be truthful, even though it may be hard, than to sugar coat a situation or try to soften a reality. I have learned that I love helping friends, but I can not listen to shallow complaints without having some bitter thoughts on the tip of my tongue. I have learned how much I dislike seeing someone give up or quit.
I know I will go through more hard times, I know I will loose myself again, I know that right now I am not the person I will be for the rest of my life-I know I have a lot to learn. In my time here I lost myself completely, I felt totally alone and in the dark but somehow I grew, changed and found myself in a completely new light. I have more to learn and to change but I know I am on the road to becoming who I am supposed to be…and…I can’t wait for my next adventure.