I guess I am overdue for a post huh…been writing lots in my journal (the old fashion kind with paper) and time has gotten away from me. I have gone through a pretty rough month, I can easily say that this month I have changed more than my entire journey here and I am proud of myself, at the same time there have been some things I wish I could have changed.  I want to take a second to recognize what I have learned over my five months living in a different country.

 

Over this adventure I have learned the importance of relationships with family, the importance of being able to make decisions for yourself and not basing your needs off of someone else, I have learned patience, learned that plans change and you have to go with the flow. I have learned the importance of knowing your priorities, learned to express myself and be blunt when I need to. I have learned to speak my mind and state my needs even if its a little scary, learned not to push people away when there is tension, I have learned how to be alone and to think for myself. I have become more me than I have ever been. I have learned to cry when I need to, but to get over it, pick myself up and keep on hiking, I have learned when I need to take a breathe, slow down and recognize what I have and what I need to be thankful for. I have learned to respect my elders and how important it is to listen and take in what others have to say. I have learned who is real, who is fake and who is just trying to find themselves. I have learned to cook and clean with my actual hands (not the machines…shocking right?) I have learned the importance of listening to my body and what it is telling me, not to push myself when I am already feeling weak. I have learned to smile when I feel unsure because when I do that I usually cheer myself up. I have learned that getting to know someone before throwing yourself into a false relationship is important. I have learned that I am not someone who wants boyfriends all the time or always needs that type of attention. I have learned that I am more feminist than I thought-always being angered when the very old guys whistle, honk or yell crude words at me or my friends. I have learned how important nutrition is to me, learned that nothing matters ore than how you feel and what your instincts are telling you. I have learned how much I love and appreciate my family, how I need to make up for my past few grumpy, moody and sometimes unappreciative teenage years. I have learned how to explain myself thoroughly, 100% and without being flaky with my words or explanations. I have learned how to follow through with what I started, I have learned that it is better to be truthful, even though it may be hard, than to sugar coat a situation or try to soften a reality. I have learned that I love helping friends, but I can not listen to shallow complaints without having some bitter thoughts on the tip of my tongue. I have learned how much I dislike seeing someone give up or quit.

 

I know I will go through more hard times, I know I will loose myself again, I know that right now I am not the person I will be for the rest of my life-I know I have a lot to learn. In my time here I lost myself completely, I felt totally alone and in the dark but somehow I grew, changed and found myself in a completely new light. I have more to learn and to change but I know I am on the road to becoming who I am supposed to be…and…I can’t wait for my next adventure.

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4 thoughts on “

  1. safe travels, rosie, on thursday and always.

    i’m thankful for the internet and your willingness to use it to share all of these wonderful thoughts and introspection. i like to imagine that, in the past 5 months, you’ve shed a few layers of the cultural and societal clutter we all accumulate as we make our way through life. you are so lucky for all that you have experienced, and to have already made these realizations at this point in your life. i look forward to seeing you back in corvallis, hearing tales, and enjoying your company.

    hugs to you and your grandparents.
    -rebecca.

  2. Absolutely beautiful and so full of truth. It’s an honor to know you my dear Rosie. (And, I can’t wait till you get home!) Love, Auntie D

  3. Lovely Rosie… What a profoundly thoughtful assessment of the changes you’ve been through. You are brave to have been so far from home, working on so much. All my love to you, Grandma Faithy

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